


Behind Closed Doors

by coveness



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-14
Updated: 2016-08-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 15:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7762930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coveness/pseuds/coveness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Someones loosing themselves behind closed doors, and he's not going alone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't judge this story by the grammar and spelling, this was originally written back in 2005 era. I am not a person who can go back and re-edit old stories. I wanted them all in one place. If you enjoy kudos are always welcome.

Warnings: Sexual implications, violent implications  
Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters as the are J.K. Rowling’s, and I make no money from this. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I could feel the ground hit my stomach as I landed on the ground. I couldn’t run anymore, the pain was right behind me no matter where I went, no matter how far I ran. I wanted it to be all better, to be once again safe. Unfortunately it will never happen. War wreaks us all.

I lied there for a moment before getting up and continuing. I didn’t even know where I was running to anymore, I just needed to run, and far. When I got home I knew I would curl up and cry, again. There was, and still is no feeling left. I killed it that day the day that I took that life. 

I have spent hours trying to figure out why I did it, why I feel such remorse for it. I had never killed before, but this was far from what I had imagined. I should have trusted, but I just couldn’t anymore, not when he came back to me with little bit marks, climbing into bed with me as if nothing was out of the ordinary. He always told me that he did it for the cause, that it was for all of us. 

I wish I was able to believe him, maybe it would have never come to this. I think now that I ran from the smell, that I ran from the blood, the eyes pleading with tears.

Now you have to understand, when I say kill, I don’t mean put in the grave. No, this death was much worse. It was a part of the person I once loved. They died, and now all I have is the shell.

 

I just couldn’t forgive it. I remember the day it happened. The bit marks were deeper and he seemed happier. I just couldn’t let this go on. 

I remember grabbing his arm and yelling at him. I remember slamming him into the wall and the wail that let out. I remember going over to him and practically dragging him to the bed and throwing him down. I got up on him, and I hit him, square across the face. The look he gave me was so heart breaking, the look of betrayal and pain. Tears made there way to the blackness that is his eyes. The same ones that now refuse to look into mine.

His lips bled under the voracity of my kisses. He tried to struggle, but only in the beginning, after the second hit he stopped trying to escape and lie below me.

He let me do what I wanted to him that night, and every night since. He doesn’t go out anymore, he just locks himself away. I never see that rare smile anymore, the one that I once thought was only for me. 

Walking down into the castle, I know he is there, in the dark, like he always is. Leaning over the desk reading books that no one else will, only looking up when he has too. He’s not even as nasty to the students anymore, he just doesn’t have it in him. 

I smile at him as I enter his room. He looks up at me. There is no expression in his pale features. 

“Hello Severus.” I say to him, smiling. A sad look takes over as he knows what I want from him. He closes his book and stands walking towards me.

“Remus.” He says as he reaches me. He won’t look me in the eye anymore. It makes me mad. 

No one ever hears his screams in the darkness of the night. No one knows what I have killed in the one I once loved, but it doesn’t matter much now, he’s mine forever, doomed to stay locked behind the doors in this dark hell of his.


	2. Chapter 2

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Beatings came more frequently now. The bruises and cuts where becoming hard to cover up. He was sure that his wrist was broken this time.

Sitting up he made sure he was alone. The last time he thought he was alone and tried to leave the marks from the beating he received didn’t go away for a week. 

Sliding off the side of the bed he made his way over to his cloths. Putting them one slowly, trying to move his wrist as little as possible. Finally dressed he made his way down the halls to his own room, he wouldn’t be teaching today.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Coming back into an empty room was not what Remus was expecting. His little butterfly had run away again. He reflected on the blows thrown that night, the look of pain and the blood, the sounds of the fragile wrist breaking under his fingers.

Lying down on the bed he thought about it, about how Severus had just taken it and not fought back at all. Well other then to defend the bandage around his neck at all costs. He wondered what secret was concealed beneath the white cloth. 

He could always feel the glamour’s on his skin, hiding the marks he made, and possibly more. He knew he shouldn’t feel bad, but he just couldn’t do it anymore. He should just stop fighting himself, that way he wouldn’t have to hurt Severus. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

Slowly he undid the tie around his neck, exposing the painful mark. Running his fingers over it, he felt the call of the maker. It was time to try and cover the marks as best he could. His wrist still sore from the healing wouldn’t work as well as he would have liked.

Apperating to the manor house he walked cautiously inside. Even if he had proven his loyalty he still felt the need to be weary. The splendor of the manor always amazed him, looking at the sculpted marble in wonder; he didn’t register the steps of the other until it was too late.

“Hello butterfly. How are you this evening?” Lucius questioned nipping at the space below Severus’ right ear.

Severus didn’t answer, instead he leaned his head so that Lucius could continue his work on his neck. 

Lucius smiled pulling Severus into his arms. “Shall we go someplace a little more privet then the entryway?”

Severus nodded. He knew whether or not he answered the result would be the same. 

Leading the younger of the two through the house Lucius brought Severus to his bed room, well one of them at least. 

Pushing him down Lucius undid the tie around Severus neck and smiled cruelly. He loved this mark more then anything else. Leaning down he gave the mark a lick.

Severus moaned and arched up. “Strip Severus.” The command was spoken into his skin. Severus nodded; leaning up on his elbows he started to undo the buttons, or at least tried. His wrist flared up in pain causing him to cry out. 

Lucius gave him a strange look. He hadn’t done anything to him yet, he shouldn’t be crying out in pain. Reaching out Lucius took a hold of Severus’ wrist. He felt the unevenness of the bone being mended below the skin. “How did this happen?” He questioned. 

Severus couldn’t meet his eyes to answer the question. “It was an accident.”

“Really?” Lucius didn’t sound very convinced.

“Yes.” Severus said, his eyes looking down at his wrist in Lucius’ hand.

“I don’t believe you. Look me in the eye and say it.”

Severus looked up; he could feel tears stinging his eyes. Look Lucius in the eyes he uttered “It was an accident.” 

Lucius didn’t look satisfied. Letting go of Severus wrist he leaned back. Taking his wand he cast a spell that stripped Severus’ and then a powerful anti glamour. Letting his eyes travel down Severus’ body he took in the damage that was revealed

Lucius’ face betrayed his control. Severus could tell that he wasn’t happy.

“Who did this?” Lucius asked running his hand over the damaged man. 

“I can’t tell.” Severus said. “It will only make things worse.”

The two of them sat there in silence, neither one wanting to make the first move. So there in the quiet of the room more secrets where revealed and made, behind closed doors.


	3. Chapter 3

There was no escape now. No matter where he turned there was no way to avoid the pain. Lucius would not let him go, but if he make it back, Remus would probably kill him this time for leaving.

All he wanted to do was hide away from the world, he wanted to leave it all behind, but it wouldn’t leave him alone. It was always one thing or another that he had to do.

Severus locked the door to the room. He couldn’t stand to see anyone. He had managed to slip past Lucius’ wards, but there was no telling how long it was till they showed up at his home. Yes, his home, the dark one that so few knew about, the one with the blood stain of the wall from the deaths inside the walls. 

Sighing he leaned against the wall and traced the stain as if tracing the pattern of a blissful day dream, and not the spatter from his fathers body. Not the putrid almost black ooze that ran through the veins of a person making them live.

He remembered the feeling of horror when he saw his fathers chest ripped open and the blood pouring out. He could never remember who grabbed him and pulled him away, he could only remember the feeling of not pulling his eyes away. 

He had missed his childhood home. No one knew where it was, or what had happened in it’s walls. The ghosts of the past always loved the house, even when he was little.

The ache in his arm reminded him that he was still injured and should be resting, not finger painting with dried blood.

He stood up and slowly made his way to the room that was his, the bed covered with dust and old tears. He lay down on top and curled up. He didn’t want to dream, didn’t want to think about what they would do to him, but he was too tired to keep his eyes open to the waking world. 

The darkness seemed to come from no ware and soon he was in a dark place. A small light seemed to glow from the corner. It never seemed to get any closer or brighter no matter what he did to try and catch it. It almost seemed to hurt if he got to close. He wanted to catch it for all he was worth. The pure essence of light, the peace and comfort he had been looking for since he was little. All he had ever wanted or dreamed of seemed to be in that light, but the light wouldn’t come to him. 

He opened his eyes slowly. He could feel someone coming closer, the wards going off like mad. They were still a few minutes off. 

Looking around he didn’t want them to find him. He looked in his room for something that could help him escape from the pain that was bound to come form the person who was coming, whether it be Remus or Lucius. 

A small bottle caught his eye. The purple and gold shimmering in the room, it seemed untouched by the time that had passed. Even without testing it, he knew the contents of the bottle. Purple was the colour of death, a bottle that was purple contained what the very colour meant, death. A poison, one that would work quickly, the gold told him that much, gold was the best, the strongest. 

He couldn’t do it again, he couldn’t go back to either of the two and allow them to continue. Maybe if he was reincarnated he would have a better life, after all his current one couldn’t get much worse. He opened the cap and drank the contents. He had just enough time to make it to his bed. Laying there he looked across the room to one of his only happy memories. The picture was of him and his parents, before the fights and the deaths. Maybe he could have a whole life like that picture, or at least he could wish for one. Which is just what he did with his last breath. 

Dumbledore and Poppy walked in. This was the last place that they expected to find him, and they did not expect to find him in the way they did. His eyes open and staring off, his breathing stopped and his skin paler then before.

“Oh, god.” Poppy just shook her head. “If only we had come sooner, we could have saved him. He didn't need to die. We would have stopped them from hurting him.” Poppy nodded her head in agreement as she closed his eyes.

Although the funeral was held the next day no one really wanted to go. None of them really wanted to admit that he was gone.

The pain had stopped and he had finally found his light.


End file.
